Collecting your Bags

Picking up your bag at the Airport

What is it about airline passengers collecting bags?? I just don't get it! Yesterday I checked into Matteram Airport in Lombok for my flight back to Bali. Its a mainly domestic airport, although I did hear that a couple of International flights do go out of here. They have the normal x-ray machines, and you put your bag through and then they get out those little plastic trays to put your phone etc... Well as my main bag disappeared into the machine, there was a blackout in the entire airport. My bag was stuck in the middle of the x-ray machines. I had immediate thoughts of the control tower losing power while giving crucial instructions to a plane landing or taking off. After 30 seconds or so power was restored, out came my bag and no apparent damage had been done.
Arrived back in Bali and then proceeded to the one of two baggage carousels. Now here is my problem. I have yet to take a flight where this doesn't happen. As it turned out I was the first to walk in to the baggage area since I was on the transit bus last. I walked to the second carousel not knowing where the bags would come out. Everyone followed and proceeded to crowd around the carousel like vultures surrounding a wounded goat. I then backed right away and moved more over to the first carousel, yet stood at least 5 metres back. Within about five minutes carousel no 1 started to move. So everyone rushed over with trolleys and those without ran; yes ran, to get a prime position for their bag. Now, their bag has not come out yet, but they are standing there guarding their turf like the police taping off a crime scene. It absolutely astounds me. If everybody stood back 5 meteres or so, and when their bag came, move forward and pick it off. No, they have to hold their ground and take up space for the people whose bags are really coming out. This is where I always seem to get into trouble. I see my bag, and say excuse me and pull my bag off, hitting up to 3 people (on a good day) with it because they refuse to move. When the odd person objects I just mumble "well you didn't move when I said excuse me" and they don't chase you because , yes you guessed it. They will loose their hard earned sacred spot.

"The sweepers" and You are cutting my grass.

One thing that I have never come to grips is the fact that all the Indonesians who have the responsibility of cleaning either your hotel, bungalow, Pondok, hut or even the street start at an ungodly hour. I do see that it's a cool part of the day and the relentless heat and sun haven't started piercing the trees yet, but they seem to do it outside your door. I have enclosed a picture of one such sweeper so you can get my drift. They use long pieces of straw bundled together by twine and use a sweeping motion to get rid of ubiquitous leaves, papers and make a little pattern in the dirt so it looks well groomed, similar to our suburban beaches. Now that in itself is not the problem. Its the fact that most tourists go out and have a few drinks and sometimes get home late. So at 6.03 am this morning there was sweeping outside my room. Its not in a constant pattern like a clock ticking but it's intermittent and non rhythmical. Thats whats drives you nuts. So the Solution. I need some help here. We just have to ask the whole of Indonesia with their ingrained culture and heritage to simply change your cleaning duties from the morning to the afternoon. How do you think we'd go?
Closely related to the sweeper is who I affectionately term "The grasscutter". I actually have a conspiracy theory here and I'm going out on a limb, and that it's possible that they are one in the same person. Ok call me mad but these people use large old metal scissors or shears to chop at the grass blade by blade. They too work the early hours in the morning, usually just after you have gone back to sleep after "The sweeper" has stopped. Are you getting my drift? When the grasscutters have stopped. Its too hot to go back to sleep anyway, so you may as well get up and have breakfast. Now I have a solution to "The Grasscutter" as well. It's called Operation "Get a goat". I think its self explanatory.
Then all the tourists who come to holiday in this great country can get some fricking sleep.

Gili Islands Lombok, Indonesia

The Gili Islands off the coast of Lombok would have to be one of my favourite places to travel to. The warm water, and the fact that there is no cars, no motorbikes, just horses and carts.
Well I find myself back in the Gili Islands after spending a week in Bali and going to a whole bunch of Farewell parties. Its funny how many people remember you even though you have been away a week. I'm talking about the guys in the boats, the bars, the people in the street.




Click on the Video Below to see
How to drink Bingtang by Mel B

Gili Island Photos click Here

Bali Bagus, and Sit down on the chair please sir

Well Its been 9 months since my last blog entry which is a long time between drinks. I find myself back in Bali for the 21st trip. It's funny as the place is changing but as I walk down the street it still feels the same as my first visit. The smells are the same and the people always saying something to you whether it be selling a t-shirt, transport, massage or giving a card that when you open it, they exclaim "Oh my god! You have won a major prize". Then the idea is that you have to go with them to a hotel and to claim your prize, some other guy gives you a whole spiel about time share in Bali. Its not really new as its been going on for a few years now.

What is different is that there is a new supermarket called Carrefour. It has to be seen to be believed. Its so massive that many of the satff get around on Rollerblades. Yes you heard me. These dudes scoot around as without them it would simply take too long to get from one side to the other. They sell all your white goods, TV's (plasmas and LCD) clothes, garden supplies, hardware, and then in the same complex the next 10 isles would have food, fruit, veges, packet stuff and then they have food ready to go including stuff that looks like it died about 20 mins before you got there.
Just as I was leaving this monstrosity this guy who was selling this massage chair approached me. I had a bit of time so I listened to his broken english sales pitch. It was sort of like a jasn recline rocker but this one massaged your feet. Anyway I thought I'd test it out. You put your foot in and he pushed a button and Bingo the whole bottom half of the chair engulfed your lower leg and in particular, your feet. He then pushed another button and then blow me down the thing started to massage and caress your feet and calves. It was one of those things that I couldn't work out whether it was ticklish or it was hurting. There where these ball things the size of marbles on rubbing the bottom of your foot and at the same time the chair was squishing your feet. It was a really weird but pleasurable sensation. It was going great and at about 30 seconds into the demo - bang - the power went out. My feet and legs were trapped in this chair and the sales guy didn't know what to do. He had to get his boss and then by this time a crowd of Indonesians had gathered around. They look at it and talked about it for a while, then decided to get down on their hands and knees in their suits and try and unclaw me with their bare hands. I could feel tensions were high in the crowd and Finally they got one foot released after I also was pulling at my own leg to get it out., I finally got the other leg out much to the delight of the swelling crowd, who were all clapping. I felt like yelling out., "I'M OK, I'M OK". Needless to say that the guy understood that I was really interested in buying the chair.